What goes through your head when closing on a NYC apartment

  1. I hope the bank made the cashier's check out to the right person
    They will, but you will check it obsessively
  2. Holy f+^%^~€g s$&t that is a big check
    Yes, yes it is
  3. How many times can I sign my name before it just becomes a squiggle
    Four and a half times, the rest of the paperwork will look like a toddler signed it
  4. Why did the bank decide to give me a mortgage? Are they the next Lehman?
    No they are not, they vetted you more than the NSA
  5. Oh crap, I'm an adult
    Yes, but you have been for a while now so suck it up and deal