Second Grade Historical Fiction

At last night's Second Grade conferences, our son Ben's teacher pulled out a writing sample. Here's a summary, as well as my initial reactions.
  1. Dad was cooking dinner.
    "Hard to believe, but in some rare emergencies, when time and quality are not considerations, this could happen."
  2. Ben was playing with his brother in the basement.
    "Yep, sounds about right."
  3. Ben fell onto a live electrical wire and hurt his back.
    "What?!? No, this never happened. Do not call the authorities. We don't have have live electrical wires strewn across the floor of the basement. At least not that I know about..."
  4. Dad rushed downstairs with a band-aid and medicine. He healed the wound.
    "Well, thank God for small miracles. I may send my children off to play in dangerous areas of the house, but at least I'm responsive and have some quality meds at the ready."