1. My 10-year-old son has been exchanging texts with his friend about Spring Break happenings.
  2. My son - "How is your trip?"
  3. Friend - "Great. We went to the French Quarter and there is a pelican nest outside our window."
  4. Friend - "How is your trip?"
  5. My son - "Change of plans. We are staying home. SPAM Museum."
  6. Um, never has my pitiful vacation planning sounded so... pitiful.