Deep in the back of my closet, I found an old pair of suspenders. Wearing them to work, I suddenly realized that I was now qualified for the following jobs.
  1. Country Lawyer
    "I object!"
  2. Country Minister
    "Praise the Lord!"
  3. Country Anything
    "I declare!"
  4. Slappy McPete
    More of a name than a job, but the suspenders give me the confidence to pull off the roll.
  5. 1980s Guy
    "Should we tell him that it's 2017 and he has gone back to the future?"
  6. Awesome Looking Guy in Suspenders, who is strutting around the office like the love child of Mick Jagger and a barnyard rooster.
    Hold the phone, I'm already that guy.