Take Me Out to the Ballgame - At Your Own Risk

Highlights (?) from the Fourth of July, Minnesota Twins versus Oakland Athletics, baseball game.
  1. Tasty Joke
    Top of the First, Oakland Outfielder Coco Crisp stepped to the plate. With glee, I turned to my 12-year-old son and said, "Tastes great in milk." Repeat throughout the game for three more at-bats. That joke never grows old, well at least not for me (for everyone else, the joke is indeed very very tired).
  2. One Size Fits All Hat
    This is true, except for me. What?!? Is my head really that large? Dear God, is it swelling in the heat? If my head does swell, does that forever and for always eliminate the possibility of me wearing fitted caps? Sadness, great swollen head sadness.
  3. Bare Chested Lumpy Men
    Shirtless dudes (and especially those with hairy lumpy bodies) should be forced to cover-up, during "God Bless America." Also, covering your heart (i.e. one man boob) with your hat does not count.
  4. Fans Explode
    Heading for the light rail station after the game, I saw the electronic news scroll on the side of the stadium, it read "Kevin Durant to Sign with Golden State... NBA Fans Explode..." Oh, the humanity! NBA fans are exploding!?! How could this not be the lead story?