Things I Avoid in Conversation with My Wife

I think we have a good marriage and I would like to keep it that way.
  1. 1.
    Sale Price of our Home
    We have moved a lot (too much). As a result, we need to sell homes, for money, which requires a price. I usually set the price at one nickel, because I want to proceed with my life and that is the cost the market will support. My wife actually wants to avoid losing money. Usually these two numbers are far apart. We discuss when we have to and only then.
  2. 2.
    My Dream of a Motorcycle
    I am a man and I am midlife, hence the desire for a motorcycle. This is the way life works. My wife believes a motorcycle will result in my untimely death. I stuff my face with cookies and move on.
  3. 3.
    Sean Connery
    We both enjoy his acting, but with any reference to Sean Connery, I feel compelled to do my impersonation. It was not bad the first 1,000 times, but it has since grown old, like Sean Connery. I however cannot stop myself. As a result, topic avoided. I believe I will somehow still manage to live a full life... barely.