1. The tag on my new polo is way too long.
    Really? Is this long of a tag necessary? Plus, I need to go all the way to the copy room to get a pair of scissors. Something about no scissors at the desk during your probationary period. No, just kidding. I think. Anyway, this tag is too long.
  2. If I hit the arm of my chair just right, it sounds like a soft gong.
    I'm sure everyone in the office appreciated my new discovery. I'm sure they appreciated it even more, when I felt the need to replicate the sound a half dozen times, which sounds like a lot, but it's just six times. Deal with it folks, it's a fun new sound.
  3. We have an amazing coffee station.
    Coffee? Got it. Filters? An abundance. Butter? Yep, just in case. Brown sugar? Ditto. Plus, variety after variety after variety of yummy java. Brew baby, brew!
  4. Someone spilled plastic forks behind the office coffee station and ran off.
    Shame! Shame! Plastic utensil shame!