1. My travel mug had a leak.
    No really, they were coffee stains on my pants.
  2. This question mark...
    Do you want the letter "S" or a question mark? Make up your damn mind!
  3. I heard for the first time about "The Platinum Rule" - Treat others as they would like to be treated.
    Oh and I'm sure that Jesus is happy that you are trying to show him up. Is that how Jesus wants to be treated?
  4. I woke my kids up by singing the Partridge Family song, "I woke up in love this morning."
    Yes, I even managed to annoy myself with that song.