Things you don't want to hear at 4AM

  1. Your dog beginning to vomit
    "Where's the closest linoleum floor? Stat!"
  2. Your child appearing at your door announcing, "My tummy hurts."
    Do not, I repeat do NOT, let the child into your bed. Fight that comforting instinct and find a linoleum floor. Stat!
  3. Your phone ringing
    "Oh dear God, who just died?"