Ways shedding a few pounds will help the Earth

I need to slim down just a tad. Turns out Mother Earth will be a winner, too.
  1. Beef
    Yep, I'll eat fewer cows. Cows use all sorts of resources. Plus, they are kind of cute. Win, win. Roam free, bovine buds.
  2. Heavy Steps
    Losing just a few pounds will mean a lot less wear and tear on the ground. You can almost hear the pavement moan, "Dude, lighten up. That hurts." Plus, less resulting rock damage.
  3. Gravity
    So I never really got this, but if I get tinier the Earth will require less of a gravitational pull to keep me from spinning into the endless void of space. Well, there's a little victory.
  4. Smiles
    Oh, yeah. Shed a few pounds and live longer. More years of smiles, more days of happiness. A little positive energy to help fuel the world.
  5. Veggies
    Too many green things. They are all around. Here, there, everywhere. Under foot, toward the sky. I'll do my part. Reluctantly, I'll grab a fork and eat some of that greenery. Keep those plants in check.
  6. Solar Energy
    A smaller "Dave Belly" means more sunlight reaching things such as grass and my toes. Let the sunshine in and help create an awesome "Sandal Tan."