THINGS I ONLY SAID WHEN I WAS A RESTAURANT SERVER

My server voice is at least an octave higher than my regular voice.
  1. "Folks"
  2. "I love the ______"
    I don't like a lot of things, but please just order.
  3. "Reposado" or "anejo"
    So tequila, much knowledge.
  4. "I'm sorry" to hosts
    Hosts bear the brunt of servers' frustrations. They're either seating you too much or not enough or they gave you a table of truly terrible people. At the end of my shift I would sometimes apologize for my rudeness or anger. It wasn't their fault.
  5. "Yes the table vibrates."
    Table 33. Maybe the air conditioner? I'd pretend to care for a second and then go do 7 million things.