Non-comprehensive list of the ridiculous things Michael's almost-replacement said during his short time on The Office.
  1. "High five. Not while I'm driving."
  2. "Michael, the last time I was exposed to a peanut, I was itchy for three days, ok? I had to take baths constantly. I missed the O.J. verdict. I had to read about it in the paper like an idiot."
  3. "No matter how many times I reach out to Dwight, he doesn't seem to want anything to do with me. It reminds me of my relationship with my son. Except there, I'm the Dwight."
  4. "I'm telling you, that baby could be the star of a show called "Babies I Don't Care About."
  5. "Everyone I know who skis is dead."
  6. "I never touch another juggler's instruments."
  7. "I don't even want it. I had cake for lunch."