At least what I've gathered after three years of being an RA
  1. "No, it's okay, it's what I'm here for!"
  2. "Please don't hurt yourself."
  3. "No, you can't have your dog here."
  4. "Keying in!"
  5. "Is everyone decent??"
  6. "Please put a shirt on."
  7. "Can you put pants on?"
  8. "Yes, you have to leave during a fire drill."
  9. "No, I'm not going to give you special treatment."
  10. "It's okay, who's going to yell at you? Me??"
  11. "If you're locked out one more time I'm going to personally arrest you."
  12. (To your fav public safety officers... Because, yes, you have favorites) "Hope I don't see you again tonight!"
  13. "Does that smell like weed to you? Yep, that's definitely weed."
  14. "Hey, can you guys keep it down?"
  15. "I'd rather have Voldemort as a resident than (your most annoying resident's name here)."