WEIRD THINGS I DO - VOLUME I

I do a lot of weird things that really don't make any kind of sense. This one involves a parking garage.
  1. The building I work in has a parking garage.
  2. This parking garage has multiple levels.
  3. It has two elevators and a staircase.
  4. The elevators are immediately available upon entering the parking garage whereas the stairs are just around the corner.
  5. Because of the number of people who work in my building I almost always leave the building at the same time as someone else.
  6. Usually that person will take the elevator.
  7. And most people are parked on the second level.
  8. So when I hear the elevator bell ring
  9. And I've turned the corner and no longer in eyesight
  10. I run like hell
  11. Into the stairwell and up the stairs
  12. My first goal is to beat the elevator.
  13. This is almost never a problem.
  14. But my second goal, and by far the more important and more fun of the two, is to be calmly walking on the second level as far away from the elevators as possible.
  15. I don't want them to know I sprinted up the stairs.
  16. I think I just want them to question everything they know about elevators and stairs for a moment.
  17. "How did he get up here so fast?"
  18. "He's already at his car!"
  19. "Maybe I should take the stairs?!"
  20. So far my record is 8 parking spaces into the garage before my unsuspecting racing opponent emerges from the elevator.