If You Give a Mouse a Cookie...Home Repairs Edition

  1. If the lightbulb in the entryway burns out, your wife will want to replace the whole light fixture.
    Don't argue with my logic. It's perfectly sound.
  2. She will remove the old fixture, only to find ugly old paint under the old base, which is of course much larger than the new one. She will need to repaint the ceiling.
  3. Before she can paint the ceiling, she needs to sand the old bumpy paint and caulk the gaps around the trim. All during naptime, because remember, the light fixture is gone so she can't work at night while the kids are in bed.
  4. Then she can paint, but again, only during nap time.
  5. Two weeks after she started this process, she will install the new light. Just as she adds the glass to the base, the whole thing will become detached from the ceiling and dangle there in the air.
  6. She will discover that the junction box was only being held up by the electrical wires and two loose screws. She will uninstall the fixture, secure the electrical box, and reinstall the entire thing quickly, before this episode of Thomas the Tank Engine ends. Because of course naptime is never as long as one hopes.
  7. She will stand back to admire the new light fixture and realize the paint in the entryway is sort of dingy. She will want to repaint the walls. And buy a new throw rug.
  8. And, while she has the tools out, she'll probably want to replace and paint a few other things too.
    I'm coming for you, outdated boob lights.