MY DAUGHTER'S BEST QUOTES OF 2015

I just started assembling our family yearbook for 2015, which includes looking through my notes of cute kid things. Here are some of my favorite things my daughter said last year, when she was 4 and 5 years old (list actually goes backwards through the year because of how I originally recorded it; I didn't feel like reordering it.)
  1. Look at me! Look how much fun I'm having! You should be saying, 'I wish I was her right now.'
  2. If there is one thing I am not good at, it is waiting.
  3. Mama: You are an absolute joy.  Daughter: And you are an absolute Mama. (Pause.) What's "absolute"?
  4. (Bowing) It is I, the (her name) of New Jersey.
  5. (On the subject of her little brother) If he was more sensible and thought like a mathematician, he would make better decisions.
  6. Ahh, there's nothing like a good bath. Except ice cream. And rides on the boardwalk. And vacation. And seeing a parade. OK, I'll give it one star.
  7. I like wearing jeans. I look handsome. I can put my hands in my pockets like a grown-up. Like a worker! "Do this! You have no right! I'm the boss!"
  8. Ahh, I love fall: the cool breeze, and the smell of smoked tofu in the air.
  9. I banged my toe and it hurt so much I couldn't just say 'Ow'. I was forced to cry.
  10. I don't want to get earrings when I'm big. I like how they look but I don't need another shot. A shot in the arm is bad enough.
  11. The people who do that must work very hard. I bet they have to buy a thinking cap. And go to a thinking class.
  12. Daughter: Another worm! Oh heck!  Mama: Um...why did you say that? Daughter: Because I'm so happy!
  13. Working up a sweat, huh? I'm playing up a sweat.
  14. Well, this is going to be a jolly good picture if I work hard.
  15. (After squishing her finger in the cabinet door) And that was my bestest finger! The one I use for everything!
  16. (From her bed) I'm a pirate, and I'm sleeping with one eye open just in case.
  17. Daughter: Can I watch another video?  Mama: No, we're finished with videos for now.  Daughter: I thought you were a kind and thoughtful Mama.
  18. Daughter: You're off the list!  Mama: What list?  Daughter: I'm going to write it down tomorrow. And then I'm going to cross you out!
  19. (While pretending to talk on the phone) Does she drink milk? Mmm hmm. And does she like penguins? Ok. So her next appointment will be in the summer.
  20. (Thoughts on babies) When you play hide and seek with them, they hide so parts of them are sticking out. That's not how you're supposed to play.