My worrying heart 💙

  1. My grandfather (from this list: ABOUT MY GRANDPA, ON HIS 85th BIRTHDAY) is starting a new course of chemo today to treat an aggressive form of lymphoma. It's scheduled to go for 6 rounds, if he can tolerate it, over about 3 months.
    Accompanying hair loss, fatigue, and everything. They're going after it hard.
  2. I'm so worried about him. His last major illness left him so frail looking, and just not in the same mindset he used to have.
    For my whole life, he was so tough and stoic. This time, he's in pain and has been for a couple of months at this point, so I feel like he's not starting from the same baseline, physically or emotionally.
  3. I don't know how much we should ask an almost-86-year-old man to go through.
    I trust his doctors. By all accounts, they're a compassionate and brilliant team, and they've base their recommendation for treatments on how well he will live afterward. But still. It's a lot to ask of him, and it's hard to watch.
  4. My aunt, who takes him for his treatments and coordinates his with all of his doctors, sent a rallying email to the family today with concrete suggestions of how and when to help my grandparents as the months go on. (She's seriously a gem.)
    But her email also said to just go one week at a time with this. If we look too far to the future, she said, we may just wind up disappointed. And that breaks my heart.