Parenting advice I will definitely ignore

From today's visit to the doctor. This is a specialist, not our regular pediatrician. I trust his professional care and judgement in the office, but at home I do things my way, which is the opposite of everything he says.
  1. On how to administer medicine: Sometimes you need to use brute force. It was better in the old days when we could Velcro them to the table.
  2. On how to get kids to cooperate: Kids his age don't understand bribes, but they do understand meanness.
  3. Cooperation, continued: I used to just threaten to smash my kids' toys. They listened pretty quick then.
  4. On getting your message across: Just have a tantrum right along with them. They'll never expect it.
  5. *If you read last night's list, kiddo is doing better today. And no trip to the hospital, which is a win in my book.