*Wrote this right after class last week and reading it back, it feels very personal. Publishing anyway but wincing.* As part of my New Year's resolutions, I started taking yoga classes again, and subsequently realized how little time I spend actually examining my feelings and being alone with my thoughts. I kind of actively avoid it, I think.
  1. Returning to yoga after being away for a long time and realizing how much I missed taking the time to do something for myself.
    Cried actual tears. Wasn't expecting that at all.
  2. Whenever our teacher reminds us to be present by telling us "You have nowhere to go. You have nothing to do."
    Giving myself permission to stop and just be is always so freeing.
  3. Doing a headstand tonight in class.
    This is my 4th class this year, after a 5 year break. Despite the support of my teacher, I panicked when I got up there and it took a while to calm down afterwards. Luckily there were still 15 minutes left of class, which gave me time to work through it. Some interesting mental imagery emerged, which I think will be useful in the future.
  4. When we were resting with our hands on our stomachs and our teacher asked us to give thanks to our bodies.
    I felt a wave of guilt hit me like a ton of bricks and was completely shocked by it. I am usually grateful for my body, but I realized I had been holding on to some sort of guilt or feelings of responsibility for my son's (relatively minor) health issues. Somehow I was blaming my body for growing a "faulty" child. I need to work through this one.
  5. When our teacher reminded us that we can find a place of rest within our own selves any time of day by just being quiet and listening.
    I realized I am afraid to do that because I'm not sure what I'll find.