Inspired by the wedding I went to last month, but based on all of my friends' weddings over the last 15 years.
  1. Shy dancers
    Need to dance with a group, refuse to enter the inevitable "show-off" circle. Skitter off the dance floor if the crowd gets sparse.
  2. Grandma dancers
    Shuffle with tiny steps along to the music. Sometimes off beat.
  3. Overly sexy dancers
    Dancing like full nudity is only moments away, never mind the groom's grandma standing right there. The category includes people who grope each other during the slow dances.
  4. Fair weather dancers
    Pop on and off the dance floor on a song-by-song basis. Will definitely make an appearance for "Don't Stop Believin'."
  5. Bridesmaids
    Will dance for the entire night, even through the crappy songs, out of a sense of duty to the bride.
  6. Need-to-be-super-drunk dancers
    Don't usually start dancing until after dinner has been served, they are both uninhibited and slightly clumsy. Most likely to crash into other guests or drop a full glass on the dance floor.
  7. Fancy dancers
    My very favorites. Usually someone's aunt and uncle, this couple has clearly had formal dance training, but their repertoire is full of old-timey dance moves that contrast amusingly with the DJ's pop music selections.
  8. Non-dancers
    Often just sit there staring at the dance floor. Get up! Have fun! You're making me feel awkward when you stare like that!