I used to work in the restaurant business. I did this for 10 years, fulfilling various roles in the kitchen and front of house. This list outlines the time I accidentally pelted an old woman in the face with a cartoon-esque cream filled dessert.
  1. I was carrying an extremely large custard and cream trifle through a very busy restaurant
  2. It was stacked so high with layer upon layer of whipped cream, custard and candied fruit that I didn't see the carelessly discarded roller skate in the middle of the floor
  3. I stepped on it and was sent careering across the restaurant at approx. 80-90 mph
  4. At that exact moment an old woman arrived who was attending her 100th Birthday Party dinner
  5. As fate would have it, the momentum propelled me straight towards her
  6. Sadly, she was unable to take evasive action and was subjected to a full frontal splattering from the out of control dessert
  7. She was left looking like Robin Williams after he face plants the cream cake in Mrs Doubtfire, only this was less funny. Some of her family was crying
  8. I was sacked on the spot - OBVIOUSLY - but I never did get to the bottom of who left a roller skate was left in the middle of the floor and what the Hell they were thinking of?
  9. Some of this list has been exaggerated
  10. Static