REASONS I BELIEVE HASIDIM IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD FEAR MY SMALL DOG

  1. Looks vaguely like a little ham
  2. They haven't seen Return Of The Jedi and don't have an unreasonable attachment to all things Ewok-ish
  3. My dog observes the Sabbath perfectly. Every time. He doesn't even own a phone. Awe, fear and mild jealousy at his perfect doctrinal supplication.
  4. Curl Envy
  5. Potentially mind shattering to gaze upon for extended periods of time. Not unlike HP Lovecraft's fictional city of R'lyeh. But not because of non-Euclidean geometry and ancient evil beyond space and time. Because: cute.