THE STRANGEST PLACES I'VE PLAYED ON TOUR-PART ONE

As requested by @tothemaxxx
  1. Illegal "Karaoke Club"-Yangon, Myanmar
    Pre "democratic opening" Burma 2010. Entered country under false pretenses. Club owner posted kids armed with walkie-talkies on the street to watch for cops. Non-stop mosh pit. 3-4 mid set power outages. Dancing monk. Room next to dressing room we were forbidden entry to because it belonged to a ghost. They were very serious about this. Delicious BBQ with local punk band and dear friends Side Effect.
  2. Terrifying Post-Soviet Mafia "Club"-Liepaja, Latvia
    After gaining "popularity" in the Baltics, somehow managed to book a show in this Latvian coastal city. Formerly a closed city in the Latvian SSR region, it was home to the USSR Baltic Nuclear Sub Fleet (call sign Комплекс) and a GIANT WAREHOUSE FULL OF NUCLEAR WEAPONS. The club we played was staffed entirely by mafia. Someone got tasered by a bouncer with a neck deficiency during the show for being "too lively". Promoter attempted a murder su-ey on me using vodka as a weapon.
  3. Sports Bar-Pristina, Kosovo
    Bribed our way in through the Macedonian border with the help of local hardcore band. Blew the power 3 times during soundcheck causing the satellite TV to go out and interrupt the soccer game. Subsequently heckled by 20 or so very angry UN KFOR troops trying to watch said soccer match. Was told by one of them that this game the only thing he'd been looking forward to all year. Apologized. Realized the promoter was armed when I accidentally opened his glove compartment while driving around.
  4. Art Collective Space-Albequerque, NM
    Tricked by local openers into playing a DIY space for an audience consisting of said local openers and a very psychedelically enhanced sound man. Local band was to GWAR what 1990: The Bronx Warrior is to Mad Max. Van was broken into. Stayed with local openers who basically screamed at us until we agreed to smoke weed with them. Quickly realized weed was roughly half PCP. Regrets. Cannot find any record of show or anyone in Albuquerque who remembers it happening.
  5. Beach-Ohrid, Macedonia
    Took equipment on a small boat to secluded beach. Stage lit by tiki torches. Frenzied gabba style dancing by audience, even to the slow songs. Convinced entire audience to go swimming immediately after last song. A winner.
  6. Vox Club-Wuhan China
    Opening bands bass player shot with pellet gun mid set by rival "gang". Minor brawl. 45 degree Celsius heat caused much sweating and almost constant mild electrocution and the eventual shorting out of my Jazzmaster guitar. Attempted crowd surf aborted because: general slipperiness due to sweat. Hit the floor like a greased, skinny pig. Neighboring tower hotel filled with angry Nigerian drug dealers. Late night "across the bridge" noodles still the best I've ever had.
  7. The Only Club In Town-Krotoszyn, Poland
    Mayor was in attendance with his whole family. Promoter introduced the band...for 45 minutes. He also played a short film. That he made. Much dancing. Amazing grandma dancing. Proto-typical Slavic death by vodka party post show. Became so intoxicated that I cried, but not from sadness.