10 Notable Americans Lost to Time

Removed from history books in the late 1980s due to communist affiliations.
  1. Flip Skittley
    Tether ball semi finalist. Junior Petite Division.
  2. Ron Blart
    Inspiration for character actor Kevin James.
  3. Thud Gimple
    Professional Wrestler who went by the name: Dill Prickle
  4. Burt Hitler
    Founder of It Was My Name First Foundation
  5. John Hammock
    Successfully crossed bird DNA with the North American hammock. Spared no expense.
  6. Tebby San Marino
    Invented the turnip.
  7. Faun San Marino
    Murdered Tebby San Marino after discovering his affair with a sensual Turnip Whisperer.
  8. Stet Zuntack
    Holds the Guiness World Record for "Most Frisbee Golf Tournaments ruined."
  9. Hart Cockles
    Smallest penis in Detroit.
  10. Nubbon Shrimp
    Largest penis in Detroit