1. I'm hanging out with Lisa this weekend.
  2. And we went for a hike.
  3. We were chatting about my friend who just got divorced and claims he will never get married again.
    Calm down. I know what you're thinking and no, I'm not dating this guy. We're just friends.
  4. And my mom goes, "He really shouldn't say that he doesn't think he'll get married again because he just doesn't know."
  5. "You should never claim to be the authority of what will happen in your love life."
  6. "It's the same as someone getting a tattoo of their partner's name. You should never be 100% confident that that person will be with you forever. Because shit happens sometimes."
  7. "The same way you can't be 100% sure that you will never find another partner again for the rest of your life."
  8. Then we went and got ice cream.