AH SHIT I'M BACK ON BUMBLE

My friends were like, "You should go back on Bumble!" And I was like, "Okay."
  1. I'll fucking babe you right in the dick.
  2. I know I'm hot. I know I'm funny. Please stop telling me you're intrigued.
  3. It was just the word "nobu" over and over again. I can't date another coke addict, you guys.
  4. Do I have to do everything around here?
  5. JUST LET ME BELIEVE IN MY GYPSY MAGIC AND LEAVE ME ALONE
  6. I already served 6 years for public urination (it was a LOT of urine).
  7. I couldn't lie to such a beautiful face.
  8. LET ME READ YOUR STARS
  9. His bio said he liked weird and funny women.
  10. He writes for Gawker. I'm going to hell.
  11. Who the fuck eats pizza at 11am? Terrorists? People who drink soda with breakfast?
  12. Crisis averted.
  13. He asked me who I thought the worst person ever was. I like this guy.
  14. AND THEN I MET A FRIEND OF @Waz AND @Nicholas AND LAUGHED MY FACE OFF
    Hey @boleshansky! I KNOW YOU'RE READING THIS