My friends were like, "You should go back on Bumble!" And I was like, "Okay."
  1. I'll fucking babe you right in the dick.
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  2. I know I'm hot. I know I'm funny. Please stop telling me you're intrigued.
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  3. It was just the word "nobu" over and over again. I can't date another coke addict, you guys.
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  4. Do I have to do everything around here?
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  5. JUST LET ME BELIEVE IN MY GYPSY MAGIC AND LEAVE ME ALONE
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  6. I already served 6 years for public urination (it was a LOT of urine).
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  7. I couldn't lie to such a beautiful face.
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  8. LET ME READ YOUR STARS
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  9. His bio said he liked weird and funny women.
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  10. He writes for Gawker. I'm going to hell.
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  11. Who the fuck eats pizza at 11am? Terrorists? People who drink soda with breakfast?
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  12. Crisis averted.
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  13. He asked me who I thought the worst person ever was. I like this guy.
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  14. AND THEN I MET A FRIEND OF @Waz AND @Nicholas AND LAUGHED MY FACE OFF
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    Hey @boleshansky! I KNOW YOU'RE READING THIS