DECODING COMMON MALE DATING PROFILE BIOS
I have become fluent in Tinderese and Bumblish.
- •"Work hard, play hard.""I don't have a fucking ounce of creativity in my entire body. Hope you like missionary position."
- •"Not looking for a hookup.""I know that if I say this, more women will swipe for me."
- •"Not looking for a pen pal. Please swipe only if you're interested in meeting up.""I reel chicks in with a really good first profile picture, but then they scroll through the rest of my pictures and see what I REALLY look like and don't want to talk to me."
- •"Your parents will love me.""I was raised Catholic."
- •"Looking for a reason to get off this app.""I have been on these apps longer than Beetlejuice has been hanging out in the afterlife's waiting room at the end of the movie."
- •"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.""There is also a 99% chance that I am a middle school gym teacher."
- •"Don't wanna fill this in if you want to get to know me just ask lol""I am so incredibly lazy I can't write one goddamn sentence about myself. I'm the type of guy who expects oral first and rarely reciprocates." (Thank you @ailsamartian for reminding me that these dickholes exist.)
- •"5'10"""barely 5'8""