1. Tinder: "Come on in, the water's fine! And by water I mean oral and by fine I mean please get tested."
  2. eHarmony: "We're homophobic!"
  3. OkCupid: "The men on here look like hot guys you accidentally left on your dashboard for a little too long and now they're kinda melted."
  4. Match.com: "So you finally broke down and decided to pay, huh?"
  5. Bumble: "Tinder for kids on the honor roll. But, like, at a school in a kinda average district."
  6. Christian Mingle: "The hymen covers the vaginal opening like that paper circle a marching band walks through at homecoming."
  7. Zoosk: "We work here and even WE have never heard of us."