I ATTRACT A CERTAIN TYPE OF MAN

Some ugly truths.
  1. I'm reading this book. And it talks about how energy spent trying to find the root of your bad habits is wasted and that your energy is much better spent acknowledging they exist and being more aware of them. Recognizing red flags, etc.
  2. And I realized that I had two breakups this year that were really, really painful. All because I constantly attract the same kind of man. Always. This is what they all had in common:
  3. Someone who just got out of a long-term relationship...
    The last three people I dated: broke off an engagement in May (I started dating him in August), got divorced in March (I started dating him in September), got divorced last month (I have refused to meet up with him and have coerced him into being my pen pal; we write each other letters on Sundays. That's a whooooole other story.)
  4. ... but despite that SWEARS they're ready to date.
    And the whole time, I'm ignoring my gut that keeps saying, "This is a bad idea, Dana. This is a bad idea, Dana..."
  5. Someone who is DEFINITELY not over their ex.
    Some were vocal about it, all were experiencing it even if they didn't tell me. I knew.
  6. Water signs.
    Last four men I dated: Scorpio, Cancer, Scorpio, Scorpio.
  7. Have vocalized that they are not ready for a relationship.
    I ignore this and that is not good. Because the truth is that I very, VERY recently realized that I DO want a monogamous partner after many years of truthfully not wanting that.
  8. Someone who got fucked over royally in some way.
    Most of these guys were cheated on by their exes. And that makes me sympathetic.
  9. Someone with depression/addiction issues.
    Last four people I dated: sex addiction, alcohol addiction, alcohol addiction, depression.
  10. Someone who is either in treatment or desperately needs it.
    Sex addict really, REALLY needed help. So did just-broke-off-his-engagement guy. The other two have therapists.
  11. Someone who is ALL OVER ME for two months (on the dot!) and then pushes me away out of nowhere.
    And then makes bullshit excuses when I confront them about it and won't tell me what's really going on. And then I'm forced to be the bad guy and dump them.
  12. Not close with their parents, particularly mothers.
    I don't like that.
  13. Yeah, so... I gotta change that this year.