So. Funny story...
  1. Do you guys remember this list? It's called "How I Get Laid All the Time": HOW I GET LAID ALL THE TIME
    If you haven't, please enjoy very real/unflattering photos of my body.
  2. Anyway. I did a little experiment inspired by that list where I took the body part I hated the most as a disordered person and made it its own Tinder profile.
  3. And the result was this:
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    Why yes, that is a Tinder account where the sole profile pic is this picture and one-word bio. Dassit.
  4. Now, I wrote a fully fleshed-out (heh. pun-intended) story about what happened, but not all of my screenshots of me talking to people made it into the final piece being pubbed by MARIE FUCKING CLAIRE next week. So here is me talking to dudes as a sentient torso.
  5. Sad story, nice guy: part 1
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  6. Sad story, nice guy: part 2
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  7. Sad story, nice guy: part 3
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  8. Sad story, nice guy: part 4
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  9. Obvious opener.
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  10. Rawr.
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  11. Plot twist.
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  12. A belly can still make dad jokes, you guys.
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  13. A lot of people didn't believe I was real.
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    I got reported as a spam account SO many times. Rude.
  14. This made me laugh like nothing else.
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  15. If you don't have food, quit wastin' Belly's time. 🙄
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  16. 😊
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  17. No lies detected.
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  18. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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  19. Fun fact: found out later this dude's brother used to date my friend. SMALL BELLY WORLD
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  20. Don't mess with Belly.
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  21. People are fuckin' weird (even when you're just a belly).
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  22. It's hard out there for a belly.
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  23. 😉
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  24. The moral of the story is if I can still get dick (I got asked out 6 times based on this one picture alone—dudes had NO idea what the rest of me looked like), you body is totally fine, babe. Your desirability has very little to do with what you look like. People are gonna wanna sleep with you just as you are. ✌🏻️