I THOUGHT OF 20 TERRIBLE SONGS TO HAVE SEX TO AND THEN ACTUALLY TRIED HAVING SEX TO THEM

Most. Fun. EVER. Please try this with your partner in the near future and then thank me.
  1. 1.
    "Peaches and Cream" - 112
    Giggle factor: 1/10. Really not an awkward jam to make out to; maybe it's dat synth and bass? Nick took my clothes off to this song and it was kinda hot, tbh.
  2. 2.
    "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go" - Wham!
    Giggle factor: 8/10. The beginning of this song is what gets ya. Nick and I couldn't kiss to this one because we kept laughing, but later on in the evening when the playlist repeated itself, Nick came during a blowjob to this song, an experience that will forever be burned into his psyche. Wouldn't be surprised if he delevoped PTSD because of this.
  3. 3.
    "Thong Song" - Sisquo
    Giggle factor: 3/10. Fooled around and was immediately transported to 1997 in the back of a Dodge Neon.
  4. 4.
    "Barbie Girl" - Aqua
    Giggle factor: 9/10. Nick literally did a spit take on my labia. Have you ever gotten your pussy licked to Barbie Girl? I can now say that I have. (This dude is a goddamn CHAMP, btw.)
  5. 5.
    "Informer" - Snow
    Giggle factor: 4/10. Never thought I'd ever say I've come from oral with "Informer" playing in the background, but here we are.
  6. 6.
    "Don't Stop Believin'" - Journey
    Giggle factor: 3/10. I asked Nick how he wanted to fuck me during this song and suggested reverse cowgirl without hesitation (he knows my anxiety surrounding this position). Because what better song is there to play to help you overcome your fears (he is very smart)? And, oh, by the way... I TAKE BACK EVERYTHING I EVER SAID ABOUT REVERSE COWGIRL BECAUSE OH MY GOD SO AWESOME. (And then I texted @olive because she, too, always believed in me 😘)
  7. 7.
    "Milkshake" - Kelis
    Giggle factor: 0/10. Swerving on dat dick to this song? We both agreed it was super hot. Nick was like "you really do look hot during reverse cowgirl, I don't get an IMAX view of your asshole, I swear, I should really take a picture of you so you could see," so guess what my Christmas card this year is gonna be, you guys. 🎅🏻
  8. 8.
    "All I Want for Christmas is You" - Mariah Carey
    Giggle factor: 5/10. Still in reverse cowgirl because I was RIDING DAT SLEIGH. Nick asked, "Is this the position Mariah would want us to be in to fuck to this song?" and I was like DUH. Yes. Mariah is an elegant lady!
  9. 9.
    "Drive" - Incubus
    Giggle factor: 1/10. Pro: Both of us experienced intense flashbacks to junior prom. Con: Couldn't fuck around because we were singing along the entire time. Wait, that's also a pro.
  10. 10.
    "All My Life" - K-Ci and Jojo
    Giggle factor: 3/10. Technically, it's a 2 outta ten, but I added a point because Nick kept humming this song into my vagina as I rode his face.
  11. 11.
    "Monster Mash"
    Giggle factor:10/10. Too funny. We had to take a break at this point. I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M FESTIVE. HAPPY HALLOWEEN, YOU GUYS. ONLY CONSUME WRAPPED CANDY!
  12. 12.
    "It Wasn't Me" - Shaggy
    Giggle factor: 3/10. Had some missionary action to this song. We sang along to this one, too.
  13. 13.
    "Sunshine, Lollipops and Rainbows" - Lesley Gore
    Giggle factor: 20/10. PLOT TWIST. Nick literally shut it down and was like yeah, no, I'm sorry, but I can't fuck you to this. It. Was. Awesome.
  14. 14.
    "Too Close" - Next
    Giggle factor: 0/10. Okay, back to missionary. You guys, I LOVE this song. Still gets me off so hard.
  15. 15.
    The national anthem (sung by Whitney Houston)
    Giggle factor: 6/10. Nick fucked me from behind (FOR AMERICA!) and, I shit you NOT, came during the last line of the song. I wish I were joking. I've never felt more American. We've defeated ISIS, you guys. You're welcome.
  16. 16.
    "Man! I Feel Like a Woman" - Shania Twain
    Giggle factor: 4/10. Queefed a little as Nick was pulling out (what is it about doggy-style and queefing), so this song was incredibly appropriate. I really did feel like a woman in that moment.
  17. 17.
    "I'll Make Love to You" - Boyz II Men
    Giggle factor: 2/10. Nice makeout sesh to this. Sang/hummed along cuz we cute.
  18. 18.
    "Party in the USA" - Miley Cyrus
    Giggle factor: 4/10. Okay, we sang along A LOT to this one. And by we I mean me. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
  19. 19.
    "Laudate Dominum" - Mozart
    Giggle factor: 1/10. Nick said it was the most relaxing blowjob he's ever received. Noted.
  20. 20.
    "Never Gonna Give You Up" - Rick Astley
    HOW COULD I NOT RICKROLL HIM, YOU GUYS. HOW. Giggle factor: 10/10. Nick confirmed my theory that it's impossible to come from a blowjob to this song. What we do saves lives, everybody.