I left a pair of sunglasses in the car of a dude I was sleeping with. He has been telling me for a solid month that he'd mail them back to me. If you ever find yourself in possession of my shit, believe me, I will annoy the absolute crap outta you until I get it back.
  1. First, I sent him this charming meme that I may or may not have made some adjustments to.
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  2. He thought it was funny. 😒
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  3. Another two weeks passed and now I'm kinda pissed (because if HE'D left something at MY place, I would've mailed it immediately since I'm a goddamned adult with respect for other people). So I upped the ante.
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  4. I texted him this pic.
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  5. And this one.
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  6. Oh, and this one.
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  7. This one, too.
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  8. Can't forget this one.
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  9. Aaaaaand this one.
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  10. Yep, this one.
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  11. And this one.
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  12. Then I switched to herpes dicks because he really wasn't getting it.
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  13. I'm giving him until the end of the week and then he's getting pictures of hemorrhoids because he's certainly acting like an inflamed asshole.
    Don't fuck with me, honey. 😘