IT'S OKAY TO NOT BE READY TO DATE

It really is.
  1. Today I talked to someone on Bumble who asked if he could buy me a drink.
  2. I get asked this a lot. So much so that I have a shortcut on my phone for "Heads up: I have an autoimmune disease, so I can't really drink. Sorry, but no tequila for Baby." Everyone is usually very cool with this, which is great!
  3. So I give my little spiel and this kid goes, "I should tell you something, too."
  4. And I literally type back, "Ah Jesus, here it comes."
  5. He says he just got out of a 9-year relationship 4 months ago and isn't looking for anything serious. He legit uses the words "I'm still healing."
  6. And I go, "Nope. Bye. I've dated too many of you kids."
  7. And he goes, "Yeah, I get that."
  8. I continue to say, "A word of advice: get off of Bumble. If you're looking for just sex, go on Tinder. Because the girls on here are not looking for what you're looking for and you're going to really hurt someone. Trust me."
  9. "I'm always that girl and it's unfair to treat people that way."
  10. "There's a difference between WANTING to be able to date and actually BEING ABLE to date."
  11. "And if you act like you're ready, someone will fall for you. And then when it becomes apparent that you're not, you will confuse some poor girl."
  12. And he goes, "But it's different for me. I don't want to go on Tinder because I'm abstaining from sex at the moment."
  13. And I go, "So you're going to try dating without having sex? That'll go over well. If you're not mentally healthy enough for sex, you're not ready to be dating right now and that's okay."
  14. And he goes, "I see what you're saying."
  15. And I go, "If you need to take time to work on yourself, don't feel weird about it! Get your shit figured out and then you can get back on here. These apps will be here six months, a year from now. And so will pussy. You'll be okay. Be well!"
  16. And he's like, "You too! It was nice almost meeting you."
  17. And I go, "You too, now get off this fucking app before you drive some woman less healthy than me fucking insane."
  18. And he goes, "Yes ma'am!"
  19. And so I sent him a kissy emoji. 😘
  20. Then he was gone.
  21. Women of Bumble, YOU'RE FUCKING WELCOME.