This is how you do it, kids.
  1. Listen, you gotta draw 'em in somehow.
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    Top two facets of my personality: sexy and weird.
  2. Gotta show dat full body, nah mean?
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    It says: HEY YOU GUYS, I'M WITHIN A HEALTHY BMI RANGE, YOU STUPID, SHALLOW FUCKS.
  3. My mantra.
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    If you ever suggest that we go jogging, I'll tell you to fuck right off.
  4. What? I looked hot on Halloween, okay?
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    Also, I'm a man-eater.
  5. I fucking love this pic of me and my friend's baby, Gigi. She is my spirit animal.
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    If a dude is dumb enough to legit think that's my kid, I'm glad he swiped left for me.
  6. Included this to ensure that dudes know what I look like most of the time.
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    I'm not a pin-up chick 24/7. I'm usually in Doc Martens and a flannel dress, so I hope you like my "Courtney Love starter kit" aesthetic. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯