PHOTOS GUYS ON TINDER HAVE ASKED ME FOR AND WHAT THEY ACTUALLY RECEIVED

  1. Asked for: "something sexy." Received: a Golden Retriever relaxing in a pool float
  2. Asked for: "a naughty pic." Received: me and a stuffed animal hotdog (clearly up to no good)
  3. Asked for: "boobs or something." Received: a picture of oral herpes (he wasn't specific enough)
  4. Asked for: "a cute pic." Received: me balancing an avocado on my head
  5. Asked for: "boobs." Received: Well, in this case, exactly what he asked for, really.
  6. Asked for: "ass." Received: me wearing large reading glasses, eating a caramel (mid-chew), slightly cross-eyed
  7. Asked for: "tits or ass." Received: an exceedingly low-quality image of a giggling baby