PROS AND CONS OF STONED SEX

  1. Pro: Everything. Feels. So. Intense.
    The best thing to do while stoned and hooking up is to gently drag your nails up the length of your partner's naked back. Also, stroking the inside of the forearms. You can thank me later.
  2. Con: Dry mouth and oral do NOT go together.
    Made this mistake once and ONLY once because my high brain was like OKAY LET'S DO THIS HINGA DINGA DERGA and my partner was like OH GOD NO DANA WHYYYYYYY. Never again, you guys. Make sure you have some flavored lube on hand if you're gonna attempt.
  3. Pro: You'll completely lose track of time.
    Ever wondered what it's like to have sex for close to six hours? Well, you're about to find out, baby!
  4. Con: You can be less vigilant about protection.
    Sometimes you're not thinking straight because everything feels so good and you proceed without thinking to grab a condom. Make sure you discuss with your partner before hooking up that protection is necessary and have condoms within VERY easy reach. (Remember, you're gonna be stoned outta your gourd. Leave a condom on your pillow like a safe sex fairy beforehand if you have to!)
  5. Pro: You'll ignore any weird body stuff because you're too high to care.
    Farts, queefs, stomachs growling loudly, your partner accidentally sneezing on your dick while doing down on you? You're not going to care at all. You may even be like "Can you sneeze again because that felt kinda weird!"
  6. Con: Giggle fits will most likely occur.
    It doesn't matter if you're watching Spongebob Squarepants or getting a BJ. They're gonna happen. But this one's barely a con because you'll work through 'em after taking a little break and then you're free to go back to business. 😉
  7. Pro: It'll help you relax if you have any body dysmorphia shit going on, ladies and gents. Or if you generally have a hard time getting out of your head during sex (because you're thinking about other shit).
    More relaxed = easier for you to orgasm. A win for everybody!
  8. Con: You may become dependent on weed to enjoy sex at all and that's not good.
    I don't typically like rules, but here are 2 really good ones to follow: 1. Anything you do sexually while stoned you should also feel comfortable doing sober. 2. Save stoned sex only for special occasions. Because sober sex between two emphatically consenting adults is the bee's knees, but I totally get wanting to change things up a little from time to time. 😁
  9. Have fun and be safe! 😘😍💋😏🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳