All I want is for you to take me out to a nice steak dinner in NYC, @john. Is that so much to ask?
  1. He'a still waiting to hear back from his email to @Nicholas about getting me kicked off The List App.
    Cb439057 b8a2 4816 9a7f 2e5abdf293f6
  2. The restraining order got lost in the mail.
    4695aea5 abf2 4f77 8715 93f6db72d406
  3. He's comfortable with sexual napalm, but my shit is atomic.
    553bdbad 8cdb 454b b14c b4bc5d31d335
  4. He's intimidated by how well I sing Katy Perry's part in "Who You Love."
    83995d57 5335 4a65 bc3d ecefe0c48159
    And that I know all the choreography from the video.
  5. @john, Carlos Santana and I once had a threesome and they've both been avoiding me ever since.
    Ac854311 bb1f 4158 b9c8 820af54f5301
    But Carlos keeps sending me snapchats.
  6. Hates that my baby bird impression is SO much better than his.
    2e87d066 155b 4efb 9e39 c2be8d85201c
  7. Is only dating stable women at the moment.
    ¯\_(ツ)_/¯