REASONS @JOHN CONTINUES TO IGNORE ME
All I want is for you to take me out to a nice steak dinner in NYC, @john. Is that so much to ask?
- 1.He'a still waiting to hear back from his email to @Nicholas about getting me kicked off The List App.
- 2.The restraining order got lost in the mail.
- 3.He's comfortable with sexual napalm, but my shit is atomic.
- 4.He's intimidated by how well I sing Katy Perry's part in "Who You Love."And that I know all the choreography from the video.
- 5.@john, Carlos Santana and I once had a threesome and they've both been avoiding me ever since.But Carlos keeps sending me snapchats.
- 6.Hates that my baby bird impression is SO much better than his.
- 7.Is only dating stable women at the moment.¯\_(ツ)_/¯