1. My angels. I know this is stupid to say, but if you're currently bulimic: stop now.
  2. Or at least try harder now.
  3. Because I will get real with y'all: I am nine years recovered and my GI tract is fucked up. Very, very fucked up, in fact.
  4. To the point that I get hopeless sometimes about ever feeling better.
  5. Because here's the thing: puking lowers your body's ability to create stomach acid.
  6. And stomach acid keeps all of the bacteria in your gut in check.
  7. So when you don't have enough of it, you'll end up with bacterial overgrowth. And that overgrowth can lead to infection.
  8. I've had the same bacterial infection in my stomach for the last year and a half. It has spread to my esophagus and small intestine.
  9. And this infection makes my stomach feel like crap almost 24/7, makes me allergic/unable to tolerate a lot of foods, causes weight problems (I lost close to 40lbs in the span of WEEKS last year), and confuses the hell out of doctors.
  10. I have been on HOSPITAL-GRADE antifungals and antibiotics. And still this shit is out of control.
  11. The worst part is that it may take YEARS to repair. All the damage I did to myself.
  12. Years of not being able to eat what I want and feeling sick all the time and racking up thousands in medical bills.
  13. Years. After 9 years of recovery with zero symptoms. My gastroenterologist said, "The body never forgets."
  14. So if you're dealing with bulimia now, let me Ghost of Christmas Future you a little bit.
  15. Get well as quickly as you can.