THIS IS WHAT I LOOK LIKE

This week, @furtadomf thought she saw me on the subway, my friend Ashley asked if I was running near the Freedom Tower and then @originalamericantrt thought she saw me at a noodle place in Brooklyn. 1. If there's one thing I do NOT do for fun, it's running and 2. I HATE Brooklyn and only go there for good dick. THIS IS WHAT I LOOK LIKE, YOU GUYS.
  1. Stoned Dana
    This Dana appears about once a month and when she does, she steals @furtadomf's necklace and wears it as a headpiece.
  2. Drunk Dana
    Appears four times a year. Will tell you she loves you.
  3. Angry Dana
    Before approaching, take your two hands and form a cup like how you would collect water from a stream. Now place over genitals.
  4. Fresh-faced Dana
    Congratulate her. This takes a lot of effort since her diet is mostly Cheetos and she consistently gets, at most, 6 hours of sleep each night.
  5. Dana When She's Talking to @tombatten
    He's her best frenemy.
  6. Christmastime Dana
    Feeling jolly and all that barf.
  7. Dana on the subway
    Do not approach.
  8. Sassy Dana
    Do not approach if you know what's good for you.
  9. Ballet Dana
    Do not approach only because she most likely just rolled out of bed and is running late. [GORGEOUS CHEEKBONE ALERT]
  10. Sad Dana
    Just let her eat her Twix bars and Pringles in peace. She'll be fine in a couple hours.
  11. Eating Dessert Dana
    She's not able to listen to anything you have to say until plate is clean. Sorry.
  12. Day Job Dana
    Feel free to approach. She'd rather be doing ANYTHING else.
  13. Excited Dana
    This Dana is only reserved for friends like @bobbyhundreds.
  14. No Makeup Dana
    This Dana is either: 1. stoned 2. getting over the flu 3. under deadline. Do not approach.
  15. Drunk Dana again
  16. "Please Stop Talking" Dana
    Please leave immediately.
  17. Naked Dana
    It is an HONOR and a PRIVILEGE to meet her.
  18. Talking to @tombatten Dana again
  19. Getting-Attacked-By-A-Snake Dana
    Happens more often than you'd think. Please call 911.
  20. Stoned Dana again
  21. Friendly Dana
    You can only approach the Dana if she winks at you. Otherwise... RUN.
  22. Rainbow Dana
    Incredibly rare Dana. Worth the most points.