I'm learning some shit or whatever 🙃
  1. It should feel easy to be with this person.
  2. You should want to see them and spend time with them even when sex is completely taken off the table.
  3. You should trust the person. A lot.
    Even when you have trust issues. Your gut should feel like you can trust this person. This person's *actions* (read: not words) should contribute to this feeling.
  4. You should be insanely turned on by this person's appearance AND personality.
  5. This person should be able to make you laugh.
  6. This person should also be able to make you come. 😏
    You should be able to communicate what you want during sex AND feel really comfortable in your skin around this person. This person should make you feel sexy, desired, and (most importantly) respected in bed. He/she should care about getting you off!
  7. You should feel safe with this person.
  8. You should feel like you don't have to take care of this person.
  9. You should feel like this person would want to help you if you ever had a problem.
  10. You should feel heard by this person.
  11. You should feel respected by this person, not judged.
  12. You should be able to confide in this person.
    And vice versa.
  13. MOST IMPORTANT ONE: You should have absolutely zero second thoughts. Zero doubt.
    That icky feeling when you don't feel someone is 100% right should be on fuckin' vacation, dude.
  14. Now this all sounds pretty good, right?
  15. Okay, but here's the tricky part:
  16. Finding this person is hard. And we're really good at tricking ourselves into believing someone checks all these boxes when they do not OR openly acknowledging that they don't fulfill one of these requirements and choosing to ignore it.
  17. Please don't do either of these things. Because wishing someone filled these requirements is so different than them actually filling them.
  18. Be patient! Kiss a lot of frogs! Figure out what you want!
  19. But don't commit to anyone who isn't willing or able to fill these needs. Because you deserve someone who does. 👍🏻