When it comes to people you want to date/fuck: take. a. fucking. chance.

  1. I've had a bunch of women tell me over the last few months that they're "not like me."
  2. I'll give advice about something dating-related and I'll get this response:
  3. "You don't get it!" they'll tell me. "I can't do what you're suggesting because I'm not like you! I'm not as outgoing as you are! I'm not as direct! I just can't just go up to someone and tell them I like them!"
  4. Whenever I hear this, this is what my brain looks like:
  5. Because here's the thing: there's nothing stopping you from being "like me." Nothing. Besides yourself.
  6. Here's how I've gotten all the dick I've ever gotten in my life: I took a chance and told people how I felt about them. Even when it was INCREDIBLY uncomfortable and I hesitated.
  7. Because when you make a move (and it doesn't have to be this huge profession of love! It can be an innocuous as asking someone if they want to hang out with you sometime!), there are only two things that can happen:
  8. The first is that they say no. Which SOUNDS scary, but actually isn't. Because the way I look at it is that 1. Now I know how the person feels about me! And knowing is so much better than not knowing! and 2. A person who doesn't want to hang out with me is not someone deserving of my time or energy.
  9. I had someone on here tell me that she didn't think I've ever gotten rejected by the men I fuck with on apps.
    I don't blame her. Look how charming I am. lololol
  10. And I was like are you INSANE.
  11. I've gotten rejected a LOT. So, so much. But I don't get down about it anymore because...
  12. Whenever someone has rejected me, they actually did me a favor! I don't want to give any parts of myself to anyone who isn't interested in me.
  13. As @bobbyhundreds' employee Chris once said: not everyone is for everyone.
  14. But this took time! I was NOT always like this. Do you think I've never gotten hung up on people I used to fuck that pushed me away out of nowhere? Of course I have.
    Thankfully, many of them are now gross-looking and did NOT age well. Thanks, Instagram.
  15. I've consistently fucked men who were waaaaay out of my league looks-wise when I dated them (terrible people, mind you, but attractive as hell). And that's because I tried. I pursued them. It's also because I approached these dudes with confidence (not cockiness—there is a difference!).
  16. I thought to myself, "Well who gives a fuck? They're either gonna like me or they won't."
    Recognizing that you have zero control over people's feelings for you is important and kinda takes some pressure off when you think about it!
  17. And if they DIDN'T like me, I moved on to the next person. I realized that the fact that people have fucked me means I'm attractive to at least a handful people on this Earth and the fact that I have friends means my personality isn't complete garbage. Whenever I've gotten rejected, my first thought has always been: I'm gonna be fine.
  18. I'm confident in knowing that a. I'm a cool person and b. It's not the end of the world if someone rejects me.
  19. Confidence is fucking sexy, man. And powerful.
  20. And if you're not feeling particularly confident (because none of us feel super confident all the time), fake it. No one's gonna know the difference.
  21. Bottom line: just fucking go for it. Life is too short to be scared. Your worst case scenario is a bruised ego. And even that is nothing in the grand scheme of things. You'll forget about the person a month from now anyway.
  22. And the best case scenario is connecting with someone you really like, which is fucking awesome and rare and worth making yourself a little vulnerable and uncomfortable for a hot second. 👍🏻