WHY I LOVE DAVE NEWAY

@dave is kind of the best, you guys.
  1. Smart as hell. Homeboy went to two Ivy League schools.
  2. Always makes me laugh. Our email exchanges are stuff of legend.
  3. Survivor. This bitch has been through a lot.
  4. Has a hot husband. Good job, Dave. (Not that that's ANY surprise, you beautiful bastard.)
  5. He's a Pisces, which is inarguably the best sign. 🐟
  6. One time we got stoned at his apartment, were flipping through the channels, and Dave asked, "What should we watch?" and at the exact same moment we turned to each other and yelled, "BAD GIRLS CLUB!"
    That's some mystical shit. That shit was in the stars. 💫✨💫✨
  7. Shares my undying love for Maury Povich. You ARE the father, Dave.
  8. Didn't judge me when I got way too stoned and tore through his kitchen like a Tasmanian devil and attempted to eat freezer-burned ice cream and a muffin his mom gave him 3 weeks prior.
    Because I wouldda straight up judged me for that.
  9. Instead, he helps me judge the men I sleep with. Has also told me that I "deserve a total panty-dropper" aka the best thing anyone has ever said to me.
  10. Is convinced I look like Kate Mara and, hey, I'll take it.
  11. But, most of all, I love him because he has my back.
  12. And I have yours. Best of luck today, babe! Sending super awesome vibes/happy thoughts your way! 💋💋💋💋💋🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹💘💘💘💘💘💘💘