WORST PEOPLE I HAVE DATED IN THE PAST
Another one that's been sitting in my Drafts folder for a while. [shudders]
- •The one that turned out to have a girlfriend.
- •The one that turned out to have a girlfriend who @tombatten said looked like I met him at a Smash Mouth concert.Good one, Tom.
- •The one that was waaaaaay too full of himself for someone with such a thin dick.Fucking Tauruses, man.
- •The one that said he wanted to marry me on date #4.SOMEONE'S Russian immigrant parents were certainly putting on the pressure for grandchildren.
- •The one who was a "recovering sex addict" minus the "recovering" part.He also had the worst Californian accent I have ever heard. Listening to him speak was like being attached to a morphine drip.
- •The one that was so dorkishly white he made me look like Malcolm X in comparison.You can find the story of how that ended here: MY BEST TINDER STORY (AKA HOW I TRICK-OR-TREATED SOME POOR BASTARD)
- •The one who was so horrible I blocked him from my memory like what happens after you look at that red light pen thing from "Men In Black."His name was David. That's all I'm willing to remember.
- •The one that had both the coolest job ever AND a major drug and alcohol problem.He was actually a pretty okay person except for the fact that it took him, on average, 8 HOURS TO TEXT ME BACK cuz, yanno, drugs.