*farting noise*
  1. My fuck buddy who "dumped" me in the douchiest way possible. Like, really, dude? You're going to be exclusive with someone else (not a problem at all) and instead of cutting ties and being like SEE YA say you'll circle back around to me when it's convenient for you? What an entitled asshole.
    29eff08c d8c5 4050 ae9e 80987ee20ac8
    I blocked this ding dong's number. But, yes, thank you; I know I'm amazing at fucking. Can I put that on my resume?
  2. Hitler
  3. That Kony guy (remember him?)
  4. People who tip competent waitstaff less than 20%.
  5. Dat's it.