WORST PLACES TO HAVE SEX (PLEASE TRUST ME ON THESE)
Talking from personal experience
- •On top of a casket as it's slowly being lowered into the groundThe dry cleaning bill afterwards was insane.
- •John Green book signingI know, "Looking for Alaska" gets me worked up, too, but it's not worth the lifetime ban from Barnes & Noble, y'all. Their bathrooms are fantastic.
- •The Anne Frank houseThe staff was NOT having it that day.
- •Top of the ferris wheel at an abandoned carnivalI know. You want to have your own "Reese Witherspoon getting fingerbanged by Marky Mark on a rollercoaster in the movie 'Fear'" moment, but you better check yourself before you wreck yourself.
- •People With AIDS PlazaTHIS IS A REAL STREET IN LOWER MANHATTAN. The traffic is terrible. They really should do something about it.
- •On a bed of fiberglass insulation.I know this one's hard because the Pink Panther is just so darn cute, but please try to restrain yourself.
- •The BeachThe movie starring Leonardo DiCaprio. Tilda Swinton put my BJ skills to shame so hard it was downright embarrassing.