One of my best friends is dating a complete anal fissure of a human and she constantly feels guilty for asking for what are incredibly basic needs. People, please do NOT feel bad to ask for these things.
  1. To talk to you on a regular basis.
    Listen, I am not the kind of person who needs to be texted everyday. But if I care about you and haven't from you in like four days, I just wanna make sure you're okay!
  2. To be respectful of your time.
    If he cancels, it's his job to propose a new time to get together. (And you do the same for him.)
  3. To care about your pleasure.
    I once dated someone who couldn't get me off (big dicked guy who had NO idea what he was doing). When I suggested we use toys in bed he said it "threatened his masculinity." Bitch, if your masculinity is threatened by a one-inch battery-operated piece of plastic, you didn't have much of it to begin with.
  4. To call/text to make sure you got home okay if it's late at night.
    We're women who live in a big city. Sometimes shit happens. Be considerate.
  5. To not judge you for taking care of yourself.
    My friend was scared to tell her partner she had started therapy because SHE KNEW IT WOULD UPSET HIM. Dude, I've been proud of every single guy I've dated who went to therapy. Someone should have nothing but respect for you if you do.
  6. To not talk to his exes.
    Unless you SHARE A CHILD WITH THAT PERSON, there is no reason for y'all to be talking. I have legit said to so many guys, "Hey, I have a partner now, so out of respect for him, I don't think it's a good idea for us to be talking." No one has EVER given me shit for it.
  7. To understand that your accomplishments are just as important as his.
    My friend works a really demanding job. Her partner is in med school and essentially thinks she sits around all day with her thumb up her ass.
  8. To not be upset if you don't like one of his friends.
    We're not going to all like each other. You're so allowed to not like one of my buds! But I shouldn't give you shit for it; that's not fair.
  9. To ask that he not call you and spill his guts when he's drunk.
    If you have things to discuss about your relationship, you should ONLY do them sober. No exceptions.
  10. To not lie.
    One time he went out with his friends when he said he was studying. Then he got caught and said he didn't want to tell her because he thought she'd be upset if he told her he wanted to hang out with his friends instead of her. What's SO not a big deal: saying "hey, I really want to see my friends tonight, but we'll make plans soon!" What IS a big deal: Lying.
  11. To talk things out instead of trying to fix things with gifts.
    What I want after a fight: a discussion and make-up sex. What I don't want: a mug filled with candy, ya asshole.
  12. To not make you cry.
    This should be a given, but I can't tell you how many people I've stupidly stayed with even though they made me cry a lot.
  13. Lastly, it's NOT weird to want someone to be excited about you!
    I'm young and hot and funny. You should be banging down my fucking door, not texting me "hey" once a week.