YOU SHOULD DATE ME (AND WHY)
Inspired by @k8mcgarry
- •"I'm not a player, I just fuck a lot."And by fuck a lot I mean with one person because I only sleep with one person at a time. #sexualmonogamy #canthelpit #cantstopwontstop
- •Speaking of which, I listen to a lot of rap.A$AP's first album is better than his second. Sorry.
- •I'm smart and ambitious. Graduated from NYU (and paid for it myself). Got my first book contract with HarperCollins at 24 years old. I wrote 4 erotic romances under a pseudonym.Calm down, calm down.
- •I'm fun as shit. I think of fun things to do in bed and then actually do them.
- •Exhibit A, your Honor: I THOUGHT OF 20 TERRIBLE SONGS TO HAVE SEX TO AND THEN ACTUALLY TRIED HAVING SEX TO THEM
- •Exhibit B, your Honor: FLAVORED CONDOMS: RANKED AND REVIEWED
- •I'm loyal as hell. When I'm dating someone, I have blinders on; other dudes do not exist.
- •I'm kinda hot, too.
- •I'm very honest and direct. I don't ghost on people. I also don't see the point in lying.If I like you, I'll tell you. If I don't like you, I'll tell you.
- •I don't waste anybody's time. You respect me, I respect you.You don't respect me, I'll break your fucking nose.
- •Some say I'm "feisty."I have no idea what they're talking about.
- •I'm a pretty low-maintenance chick. I don't need/expect to be in constant contact with my partner. I have my own life, my own friends, family that I'm close with, 2 jobs, hobbies, interests, etc.I won't be up your ass. Unless, you're, like, into pegging. Which is great, you do you, but we just gotta discuss it first, okay? Cool.
- •I'm a feminist. I don't let dudes pay for me.
- •We will never run out of shit to talk about. I ask a lot of interesting questions.
- •That being said, I like talking about things that are taboo or are known to make others uncomfortable (namely, my butthole), so if you're easily scared, you are not the person for me.
- •@bobbyhundreds thinks my mom is hot.Listen, I'm not going to disagree. She gave me great genes.
- •Boom. Done.