YOU SHOULD DATE ME (AND WHY)

Inspired by @k8mcgarry
  1. "I'm not a player, I just fuck a lot."
    And by fuck a lot I mean with one person because I only sleep with one person at a time. #sexualmonogamy #canthelpit #cantstopwontstop
  2. Speaking of which, I listen to a lot of rap.
    A$AP's first album is better than his second. Sorry.
  3. I'm smart and ambitious. Graduated from NYU (and paid for it myself). Got my first book contract with HarperCollins at 24 years old. I wrote 4 erotic romances under a pseudonym.
    Calm down, calm down.
  4. I'm fun as shit. I think of fun things to do in bed and then actually do them.
  5. I'm loyal as hell. When I'm dating someone, I have blinders on; other dudes do not exist.
  6. I'm kinda hot, too.
  7. I'm very honest and direct. I don't ghost on people. I also don't see the point in lying.
    If I like you, I'll tell you. If I don't like you, I'll tell you.
  8. I don't waste anybody's time. You respect me, I respect you.
    You don't respect me, I'll break your fucking nose.
  9. Some say I'm "feisty."
    I have no idea what they're talking about.
  10. I'm a pretty low-maintenance chick. I don't need/expect to be in constant contact with my partner. I have my own life, my own friends, family that I'm close with, 2 jobs, hobbies, interests, etc.
    I won't be up your ass. Unless, you're, like, into pegging. Which is great, you do you, but we just gotta discuss it first, okay? Cool.
  11. I'm a feminist. I don't let dudes pay for me.
  12. We will never run out of shit to talk about. I ask a lot of interesting questions.
  13. That being said, I like talking about things that are taboo or are known to make others uncomfortable (namely, my butthole), so if you're easily scared, you are not the person for me.
  14. @bobbyhundreds thinks my mom is hot.
    Listen, I'm not going to disagree. She gave me great genes.
  15. Boom. Done.