1. Those intense feelings of doubt normally settle in at somewhere between 11pm and 4 am.
  2. You sit wide awake contemplating your past, whether you made the correct decision or if fate just dealt you a nasty hand.
  3. You open old text messages and love letters that you probably should have deleted 3 months ago. Read the notes they left in the margins of your favorite books. Glowing at the warmth of their words and pondering how in love you once were.
  4. When you read certain books, listen to THAT playlist, or visit coffee shops, the memories rush in and drown you in nostalgia.
  5. You hope that they're doing well in the world. You can't ever bring yourself to genuinely hate them. You won't admit that you may even still love them. They're gone and you need to learn to accept that their love may have ruined some part of you.
  6. You hate yourself for your morbid curiosity about their lives now and those regressive "what if" moments.
  7. You find yourself craving what you had in your relationship with them, seeking that elated feeling of wholeness. You wonder if you will ever find that feeling again, perhaps you'll settle. You desperately hope not.
  8. At long last while you're tossing and turning, sleep feels as though it might finally settle over you.
  9. Yet for some reason, for that final lingering moment between consciousness and a dream-state, you can't help but pray that perhaps that they might feel the same way too. Missing you. Thinking of you. A fellow heartache insomniac.