PARANOID THOUGHTS WHILE USING AIRBNB

  1. 1.
    Why do I have the strangest feeling that this could EASILY turn into Taken Part 4
  2. 2.
    I wonder how many people have fucked in this bed?
  3. 3.
    ....Did my host even wash the sheets?
  4. 4.
    Why doesn't this place look like the picture online, am I at the right address?
  5. 5.
    If there's booze in the fridge, is it fair game?
  6. 6.
    How seriously should I take the phrase "Make yourself at home"
  7. 7.
    *loud crash outside your door* Yup. I'm done. Goodbye life I once knew. This is definitely turning into a Taken sequel
  8. 8.
    If I had to choose a Liam Neeson in my life, who would it be? Not Greg that's for sure.
  9. 9.
    Is it just me or did picking up the key feel sort of like a drug deal?
  10. 10.
    I wonder where my host is staying while I'm sleeping in their bed...
  11. 11.
    If I become best friends with my host, can I just couch surf next time for free?
  12. 12.
    I'm feeling self conscious about writing a review. I want to say it was mediocre because it wasn't amazing. At the same time though I don't want to hurt the host's feelings
  13. 13.
    Should I wipe my feet when I enter the door? Maybe nah. There is a cleaning fee
  14. 14.
    What in god's name happens if I lose the key....
  15. 15.
    Would a hostel be cheaper?
  16. 16.
    If we threw a blow out party here would the hosts know?
  17. 17.
    If we snuck in extra people would the host ever find out?
  18. 18.
    If I end up hooking up with someone and they spend the night? Do they have to pay the 'extra person' fee?
  19. 19.
    Does the host's house serve as a modernist representation of themselves?
  20. 20.
    Actually, maybe my life is going to be more like the Truman Show than Taken? Who knows.
  21. 21.
    I can't tell if this place is overpriced...
  22. 22.
    Can my host kick me out in the middle of the night?
  23. 23.
    Are there fucking cameras in this house? What if they are in the shower....
  24. 24.
    Why do I have the strangest urge to touch everything...
  25. 25.
    Can I use their shampoo? I forgot mine...
  26. 26.
    If I play music too loud, will the neighbors complain?
  27. 27.
    Shit. They have orchids. Do I have to water their plants? Or did they water them before I came? Will I over water and accidentally kill them? Ugh. Pressure
  28. 28.
    Is this a safe neighborhood? Will I get mugged in my way home? I should have looked up for reviews for the area
  29. 29.
    I wonder who is booked to use this place next
  30. 30.
    Do I leave a note when I leave? "Thanks for the place Antonio, we had a g8 time!"
  31. 31.
    Is my host normal in real life? Would we be actual friends?