THINGS I WISH I WOULD BE ARRESTED FOR

  1. Being too awesome
  2. Streaking
  3. Having too much fun
  4. Twerking on a tightrope
  5. Going under the speed limit while riding my pet ostrich
  6. Jousting in the middle of a highway
  7. Stealing lightbulbs from public places
  8. Protesting gluten discrimination